"...in life you're gonna go far, and if you do it right you'll love where you are. Just know, that wherever you go, you can always come home." - Jason Mraz, 93 Million Miles
I've learned that lesson more than once - that I can always come home. Most recently, I've realized, that I can always come to my church home. I had forgotten that.
Long story short, I have been upset with my home church. I have had 3 people at church who were very important to my faith journey. All 3 of these people, at different points in my life since high school, left my church - two by choice and one by force. I felt as though my church family had punched me in the stomach. I was completely lost. It didn't feel like my church was the loving, supportive place I once knew and cherished.
Recently, I have started to attend more regularly and have been helping out a little bit more. At the service last Sunday, as I drifted in and out of the sermon, I realized through tear filled eyes that even though I had been waging a battle in my head and heart for nearly 10 years, this building and these people were still HOME. They never stopped thinking about me, and they never stopped caring for me even when I wasn't present.
Every week I'm asked if I have any updates about my YAGM journey in the UK, and every week I feel more and more at home. For the first time in a very long time the love feels genuine and tangible and it is making my heart soar.
A Jason Mraz song has been popping in my head a bunch this week. It's called 93 Million Miles. My favorite line is this:
Sometimes it may seem dark, but the absence of the light is a necessary part. Just know, you're never alone, you can always come back home.
Never alone. NEVER alone. This past ten years has definitely been dark for me. I've failed more times than I can count on my fingers, I've loved, I've lost, and I felt completely alone. But I was never alone. I always had Jesus right beside me. I fully believe that if I hadn't been struggling, that I wouldn't be where I am now. The absence of the light was definitely necessary for my faith journey, and even more my life journey.
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I am so excited for the next chapter in my journey, and I can't wait to see what I learn from my time in the United Kingdom. I'm sure it won't be easy, and I know I will have struggles, but I can ALWAYS come back home at the end!
~~Lina
